Role of Church in Parenting: Religious or Social

This one's a little bit behind, but it's been kicking around in my head, among many other things.

Note: I am currently practicing unsure atheism. I'd call myself an agnostic, but apparently that means I don't care about whether God exists or not, and I'm not sure. In any case, I'm not a church-goer anymore.

Last week, I was having a chat with some friends about nothing in particular. The topic moved to circumcision, which motivated me to share my one interesting (if slightly awkward) story of any relevance: I was circumcised twice. Basically, they just didn't quite get all the foreskin the first time, I guess. Ya know, or I have Wolverine's healing factor. . . in my penis.

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. . . sorry. . . ANYWAY! (it'd be freakin' sweet, though)

One of my friends adopted the anti-circumcision perspective, calling it barbaric and sick and completely wrong to do for some stupid religious delusion. K. Check. From there, circumcision was compared by the speaker to baptism.
I commented that my kids will probably be baptized because, while I am not a strong person of faith, there is a damn good chance (a certainty if the future finds "the girlfriend" becoming "the wife") their mother will be, and I have no objection to it. I consider baptism (and circumcision, for that matter) harmless at the very worst. I am more than comfortable with my children participating in a religious tradition belonging to my wife if I see nothing wrong with it.

Of course, my "believer-friendly" opinion was a bit hard to assimilate. I was in a room of jaded former Catholics (the product of overly controlling parents, I will not deny) who didn't seem to quite get a non-adversarial attitude toward something as simple as baptism.

By no means am I saying their spiritual or religious beliefs are any more or less valid to me than anyone else's. I am many things, but I try to be very open-minded about these things. However, I really was taken aback by my perception of what I was hearing.

I had proposed nothing more than respect and tolerance of the religious convictions of another human being, and I was facing opposition on a level much higher than I predicted. This really called to my attention a trend of anti-religious backlash, which I see as counterproductive.

Marty and I are a very inspiring couple, I'd like to think, because we represent people of different political and religious beliefs who still have respect and understanding for each other's perspectives. It's not that we lack convictions, but we're open-minded and secure in our own beliefs.

Call it narcissistic if you like, but I think we're doing it right. Here's why, and ultimately where I'm going with this whole thing. Marty is a Lutheran; I was raised United Methodist til my early Teens. Does she want to raise the kids in a church community? Of course. Do I? Absolutely.

Here's why:

It's not about my religious beliefs or even hers. I want my kids to grow up in a highly-socialized community. When I was a young kid, living in Austin, my family were members of a phenomenal church community. Everyone knew each other, new people were welcomed in eagerly, and everyone helped take care of everyone else's kids. It was never about God for my less than 5 year-old mind, but rather about having a large group of good people.

I want to raise my kids in a strong community, and I see no fundamental reason that can't be a faith-based community. Should I be worried my kids will somehow be brainwashed by the institution? Why would I be? I'll be spending far more time raising my kids than anyone else and, further, I wouldn't raise my children in a community where they were learning dangerous or harmful lessons and habits.

Call me crazy, but I don't need to believe in God or Jesus Christ to believe in the positive power of good Christians, and I absolutely want my kids to do the same.

Out.